Bear With Me

Please bear with me as I type this post as I just got my wisdom teeth extracted a few hours ago and I believe the lovely drugs I took are beginning to take effect.  As rough as the procedure was (difficult bones and extremely close nerves) it makes me happy that I was more nervous about not being able to eat or drink all morning than the actual surgery.  I used to love the days I had to get blood work and was basically instructed to restrict, but today I did not feel that way.  I was nervous about not being able to eat and take care of my body the way it deserves to be cared for.  I do not want this surgery to be an opportunity to slip backwards and I am being vigilant to make sure that does not happen.  I made a promise to myself that even if it makes me uncomfortable and I have to break all of my usual food rules I want to practice self-care.  Even with my mobility extremely limited I know that I need to keep my calories/nutrition up to facilitate a faster recovery, and to make possible a smoother return to training for my half marathon once I am capable of doing so.  With that in mind, as hard as it was, and in-spite of all the bad memories it brought back, I just walked to the fridge, picked up an Ensure, and chugged it before I had time to give it a second thought.  And after?  I am happy.  Being weak and dizzy from hunger no longer provides the rush it once did.  Now I would much rather eat and feel good than not and barely function.  I hope that these feelings do not stick around too long and I can eat some more substantial food, but until then I’m getting the job done by any means necessary.

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