6 is my favorite number. As of tomorrow it will be 6 days since I have done any sort of exercise. I wish that I could say that I love the number 6 in this case as I usually would in any other, but honestly, I am not handling it as well as I should have. All I want to do is get up and run but the throbbing pain in my head is making that impossible. I know that my body needs this time for rest and even if I wanted to work out I know that I haven’t been taking in adequate nutrition in order to have an effective workout. Despite all of this knowledge I find myself with stronger urges to restrict than I normally do. I have been able to fight away most of the evil messages that pop into my head, but I still feel uncomfortable just sitting around. Limitations frustrate me to no end and I clearly have a very hard time admitting to myself when I am not doing well. Luckily I am not on my own during this time. My family has tried to be supportive over the past few days, but sometimes there intentions are not always carried out in the best manner. Thanks to a very uncomfortable situation with my mom it has been determined that my weight has not really changed as a result of my surgery, and that I am managing to still take care of my body as best I can.
My plan is to have one more rest day tomorrow and then try for an easy 2-3 mile run on Friday. I had my first real dinner tonight and I promised myself that I would need to have as close to a full day of real meals in order to start working out again. Hopefully I will be able to consume something with structure tomorrow and my body will be healed enough for a light run on Friday. With my half marathon less than 2 months away I really need to make sure I have enough endurance and training runs so that my body is prepared for the event.
sorry for such a downer post. just not really feeling it these past few days.